Usually the best way to stop them from kicking out is finding out what is making them do it.... if they are upset with you? Do they get annoyed when there are flies out and you restrict so they are even more bugged? Are they protective of you if there is a horse near by thus wanting to kick the horse (or are they nervous of other horses coming near) OR are they just fussy and want to put up a bit of a "I don't want that" type attitude?
Usually finding out the actual cause is the best way to work on it. There are so many different things that can cause it... even a ill fitting saddle can make a horse sour and kick out... a sore back etc etc. I think the solution depends on the issue.
The best way to help your horse be good for the farrier is to work on it yourself. I like to have a horse so you can throw a tarp all over it and have it to the point it doesn't care. That makes everything else so minor! As for the picking up.... get your horse first so it does allow you to pick up the feet. When starting with a horse that wont hold its feet.. especially in the case of rear legs, use a rope so you can hold the leg up easily and away from the hoof (aka you don't have to bend over and can get the horse comfortable as you just have to stand there not fussing bend by its rear.)
I also like to run my hands all over the body and down the legs so they are used to the farrier doing this.
Here is a pic of the rope as it works well especially with horses who haven't ever had feet touched. I think its best to tarp a horse out first then work on the feet.
Me tarping out a untouched 18month old draft cross that lived in a wild environment till a day prior (on 1000 square miles)
http://photos-110.ll.facebook.com/ph...83839_8576.jpg
And the leg rope (I took this off a website.. she looks like shes putting up a fight but its easier to do this once again with a rope and it doesnt hurt the horse.. they can kick the air and no one gets hurt...
http://www.naturalhorsetraining.com/.../Sampson28.gif
FAQ 
How do you stop your pony kicking out 
